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Smooth Operator

I forgot to mention one item that came in my Macy’s order. It is an item so amazing that it’s like having a magician at my fingertips. A four inch tall magician, but a magician nonetheless. Of course I’m talking about the Magic Bullet! (When I typed that there was a booming echo. I assume you heard it when reading.)

“But Internet Blogger,” you say, “don’t you already own a blender? Isn’t this just a gimmicky gadget that has no real value add in the kitchen?”

To all of you people talking to your computer screens (both mentally and actually) I respond with a resounding and definite: “Probably.”

  • It cuts onions. Not as fast or as well as my knife and it’s harder to clean.
  • It purees garlic. Uh… do I want that?
  • It mixes eggs for omelets. Not as fast or well as my fork and it’s harder to clean.
  • It takes up lots of counter space. Not as… well actually it does do that much better than my knife and fork.

So why would I buy such a thing? And why would I tell the world about it in such a boasting fashion. It does everything all of my existing kitchen tools does, but more magically. And by magically, I mean it makes smoothies for me while I’m at work. That’s right; it is not a kitchen gadget. It is an office gadget. And not even the electric pencil sharpener that I fictitiously have at my desk can compare with it’s all around utilization. It makes breakfast smoothies, lunch smoothies, and that’s just about it.

I wouldn’t have thought about this as a good purchase except for the fact that the kitchenette in my office is stocked with a limitless supply of milk, ice, and various juices. We also have a lunch menu where we can order up to X dollars of food a day. The cheapest thing on the list is bananas at forty-five cents. I have noticed that many people tend to load up on bananas during the week just to get to the $X mark, so they are in abundant supply. Yoghurt is also available. Also, I work in New York, so fresh fruit is available on many corners if I feel the need for a variety.

For my first round, I made strawberry banana smoothies with milk and strawberry yoghurt for my teammates. With great (small) blender comes great (small) responsibility. After about 2 weeks of various concoctions my current favorite is the simplest. A few ice cubes, a full banana, and enough orange juice to cover. Six seconds later I’m wishing I had rum.

And clean up is a breeze. We have a dishwasher.

Author: Josh Categories: Story Tags:
  1. Meghan
    May 14th, 2009 at 11:25 | #1

    oh my god, i would eat smoothies all day. maybe someday i will work someplace with a big enough budget that has stuff like that around always and then i could get a magic bullet too. how noisy is it?

    and is it bad that i’m sitting here thinking, what *couldn’t* you do with pureed garlic? but i might love garlic too much.

  2. Josh
    May 14th, 2009 at 11:31 | #2

    My problem is with pureed garlic is the fact that it just winds up being a disgusting unsmooth paste. What you really want is crushed garlic in all its glory. OK, OK, I’m a bit of a snob.

    As for the noise level, it is a bit loud in the immediate room. It definitely interrupts conversations. But it is only running for like 10 seconds per smoothie.

  1. September 29th, 2009 at 18:11 | #1